


Afterlife

by SifaShep



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alchera, Gen, Mass Effect 2, OC, Virmire, commander remy shepard, normandy crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 13:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6331909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SifaShep/pseuds/SifaShep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shepard finds himself in Purgatory. Unfortunately, it ain’t the nightclub.</p>
<p>Spoilers for ME1 and beginning of ME2.  Remy is my Infiltrator, and in his storyline, Kaidan died on Virmire.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

_The last thing he remembered was dying._

He sat with his back against the nuclear bomb, dead Geth scattered in the water around him. They kept coming, but he fired blast after blast, until his rifle glowed red and fell silent.

It’d been a good life with little regret. When it came to saving Ashley or him, he knew Shepard had made the right choice. Ashley still had so much to live for, so much to see and do. He managed a smile at the thought of her kicking Geth ass, at Shepard’s side.

Shepard. Commander Remy Shepard, N7 and the first Human Spectre. A brother-in-arms. He’d never had a brother, but at least now he knew what it felt to have one.

He shivered. The water was numbingly cold. Of course, the red that swirled around him might have had something to do with it too. The blood now trickled from the gaping hole in his abdomen, in spite of his efforts to stop it.

At least the pain had stopped. It would be over soon.

A roar in the heavens caught his attention. He managed to look up to see a dark silhouette against the sky. The Normandy, its sleek lines a shadow against the sun, rapidly fading into the distance. That meant they’d gotten Ashley out of the AA Tower…and Shepard.

The seconds ticked down in his head. He managed a smile and thought, _Give ‘em hell, guys._

He sagged against the bomb’s frame and closed his eyes.

_Zero._

The world dissolved into brilliant light.

*****  
_The last thing he remembered was dying._

“COMMANDER!”

Somehow he’d managed to trigger the escape pod’s launch sequence. The blast drove him away from Joker. He grabbed the edge of the broken bulkhead, the heat searing his hands through the armored gauntlets. Unfortunately, gravity was stronger.

"SHEPARD!"

The blast slammed into him and threw him into the blackness. He saw the Normandy crumble under the explosions, the debris flaming all around him. The shock numbed the terrific pain in his body as he tumbled in free-fall.

_Broken ribs, shattered shoulder, internal bleeding…hell of a way to die…_

Another sound overwhelmed him…the hiss of escaping air. The panic overrode everything else as he twisted around and tried to find the source of the leak. A vapor trail of oxygen clouded his visor...cracked sealant in the helmet.

_Oh God…_ his lungs burned, he felt the darkness closing in all around him as he struggled to breathe. _It can’t end like this…after everything… **it can’t end like this….**_

He was dragged, kicking and screaming silently into the void.

*****  
“Shepard! Wake up! You’re okay, you’re fine, wake up!”

He snapped back to consciousness. Automatically, he jerked up as his lungs heaved in air.

_Air, oxygen, I’m not suffocating, I’m not dying…._

“Whoa, easy there, you’ve had a rough ride there. Take it easy.”

He opened his eyes at the familiar voice. Wait…that wasn’t…that couldn’t be, could it? The owner of that voice was supposed to be dead.

Remy Shepard slowly turned to see a dark-haired man kneeling at his side.

“Kaidan?!”


	2. Sitting at the Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finds himself in Purgatory. Unfortunately, it ain’t the nightclub.
> 
> Spoilers for ME1 and beginning of ME2. Remy is my Infiltrator, and in his storyline, Kaidan died on Virmire.

The lieutenant smiled and offered a hand. Kaidan looked exactly the same as that day on Virmire, before everything went to hell. Almost…instead of an Alliance uniform or battle armor, he wore jeans and a white shirt rolled up to his elbows. Kaidan seemed relaxed, even happy, although there was concern in his eyes.

Shepard felt another stab of guilt…if he hadn’t made the choice to save Ashley, if he hadn’t left Kaidan behind to die…

“Had a bad day, Shepard?” Kaidan sounded amused and sympathetic, as if he’d seen this before.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He allowed Kaidan to pull him to his feet. The movement made him feel lightheaded, and he staggered a little. Again, Kaidan gently supported him until he was steady.

“Yeah, we’ve had our share of ‘em.” Kaidan’s smile faded and he became the serious young man again. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Shepard frowned and searched his memory. The images were hazy, as if he saw them through a clouded filter. “The Normandy…we were attacked. Joker wouldn’t leave, I had to get him and stuff him into an escape pod. Explosions everywhere—wait.”

“What?”

“We were separated…the explosion threw me out into space…” It all came back at once: the pain, the hiss of escaping air, the burning sensation in his lungs. Kaidan’s grip on his shoulder cut through the panic and he found himself back here. Wherever _here_ was.

“Yeah, the memory’s still sharp, but its impact dulls with time. The more violent, the longer it takes, but it’ll ease up. You’ll see.”

Shepard shook his head and banished the painful images. Suddenly, the sound of laughter and music echoed through the air. Someone was throwing one hell of a party.

“Kaidan, where are we?”

“Afterlife.”

“You’re serious. This is  _it_?” Shepard remembered his conversation with Ashley about religion. _Yeah, wherever we go when we die…I get the feeling my dad’s watching me_ , she had said.

“This is the Afterlife. Just not the nightclub.” Kaidan winced at his own joke. “It’s…kinda complicated. C'mon, there are some people waiting to see you.”

As they walked further into the bright light, Shepard glanced at his friend. Before he could say more, Kaidan interrupted him.

“Shepard, don’t. It’s okay. I understand.”

He frowned and asked, “What, you can read minds now?”

“No, it’s written all over your face.” Kaidan gave him a sideways look. “I told you to go back for Ash, remember? **It’s not your fault.** I don’t blame you, and I don’t hate you.”

Shepard took a deep breath. Hearing Kaidan say that made him feel a little better, but not much.  He’d always feel guilty.

Laughter echoed all around them. Shepard found himself on the upper level of a club, looking down at the bar. His eyes widened as he recognized some of the patrons.

“Hey, he made it!” Richard Jenkins jumped off his stool and raced up the ramp. He laughed and grabbed Shepard’s hand. Jenkins hadn’t changed since Eden Prime; that familiar gleam of excitement in his eyes, that eagerness in his manner.

“Jenkins!” Despite himself, Shepard grinned and shook the young man’s hand. “Keeping out of trouble, I hope?”

“Eh…kinda hard to get into trouble, Commander.” Jenkins pointed at the other people at the bar. Navigator Pressly looked at stunned as Shepard felt, especially as the other patrons offered to buy him drinks. Shepard gave him a look of sympathy.

There was a stir through the crowd as the word spread. A group of Alliance soldiers at the far end of the room turned and spotted Shepard. His mouth dropped open at the man leading the charge up the ramp.

“Toombs?!”

“Hey, _mon ami_ ,” Corporal Toombs greeted. Once again, he was the man Shepard knew from Akuze, before the Geth’s awful experiments. No pain, no anger, no bitterness. Toombs punched him playfully in the arm and gave him a huge grin.

“Should’ve known you’d end up here too,” Shepard replied with a laugh.

“Waitin’ for you. Always too stubborn to quit, even when a thresher maw’s chasin’ you. Now you can sit with us and tell us about your exploits 'round the galaxy!” chimed in a second squad member. _Darren Okumbo, quartermaster._

Before Shepard could blink, he found himself sitting at one of the tables, drink in hand. The others swapped stories, told jokes and toasted everyone in the galaxy and then some. It would be easy to get caught up in the laughter and the camaraderie.

“So…this is it? You die and end up in a _bar_?” Shepard shook his head. When Garrus finally made it here, he expected to hear the Turian tell him, _I told you so._

“Well…yeah.” Jenkins shrugged and explained, “You hang out, get a couple of drinks, play some quasar, bet on the varren races. Anything you want to do, you can do it, but eventually, you find yourself back at the bar with your buddies.”

“Sounds…nice.” Shepard tried to sound enthusiastic, but it didn’t work.

Jenkins shrugged. “Yeah, it does get a bit boring after a while, but eventually, you get to leave. Through there–” He jerked a thumb at the highest level of the club.

Shepard narrowed his eyes, He could barely make out a spiraling ramp and a railing, but the harsh lights obscured everything else.

“When do you get to leave?”

“Dunno. You just get the urge to walk up there and go. Seen a few do it; figure it’ll be my turn eventually. Till then…guess I’ll just have to wait just like everyone else.”

“I…see.” Shepard turned his attention back to the bar. Something just didn’t feel right about the whole thing, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He remembered Jenkins as a young, gung-ho corporal who jumped into the action feet-first. Jenkins had left Eden Prime because it was _too_ quiet…

Jenkins passively accepting the wait…that struck a sour note with Shepard. He watched as familiar and unfamiliar people passed through the bar. Old comrades long gone, new arrivals disoriented at their surroundings. There was more laughter, tears and banter among friends and previous enemies.

Shepard saw others he recognized, but he felt no urge to mingle and socialize with them. For some reason, he shied away,  as if he didn’t belong here.

“You don’t belong here _yet_.”


	3. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This happens after the original Normandy goes down in ME2 and when Shepard wakes up in the Cerberus facility.  
> Remy Shepard meets his self-appointed guardian angels. It turns out there’s still a lot of unfinished business. This time, he isn’t completely alone.
> 
> Patrick Shepard is Remy’s father. He appears in Red Skies, the story of the Mindoir attack (also posted here on Ao3)
> 
> Can you spot some (future) lines you hear later in ME3? And the bolded conversation is between Miranda and Wilson when Shepard wakes up the first time.

_You don’t belong here yet.”_

Shepard glanced sideways at Kaidan. With a start, he realized he had no clue how much time had passed. Jenkins was no longer in sight, and a whole new crowd was at the bar. Even Pressly had disappeared, but no one seemed bothered by the fact.

It was more than just weird. It was creepy. He couldn’t remember how he got here, only that he’d been here a while, and this place bothered him.

“Shepard,” Kaidan called.

“What?” Shepard asked.

Kaidan grinned and indicated two men talking to the bartender. Shepard’s jaw dropped as he stared at them. The taller of the two had a familiar thatch of red hair and dark blue eyes, the same as Shepard himself.

“ _Dad_?!”

Patrick Shepard laughed and put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Now this is a surprise. For a second, I thought my timing was off. I’m glad to see you; your mother gave me an earful about the stunt I pulled. It was worth it, though.”

Shepard blinked hard at the familiar voice, one he never thought he’d hear again. Patrick Shepard had died on Mindoir, defending the colonists from Batarian slavers. Painful flashes of memory went past Shepard’s eyes…

_…crawling over the rough dirt, bleeding out and not caring a bit, the earth soaked with rain, washing away his pain and making him numb. The slavers long gone; they’d assumed he was dead, just like the others, didn’t even bother to check. His friends, his family, all gone; his father’s fingers locked around his shotgun, a fighter until the end…_

Patrick’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Remy. I didn’t want to go, but it was time.”

“It’s okay.” He took a painful breath. The grief welled up, still fresh as if it had happened just yesterday. Shepard hadn’t expected all those feelings to bubble up and rush out like a geyser. The sheer force of it made his body tremble.

“The hell it is. You’ve always been good at hiding your emotions, but I know you.” Patrick pulled him into a rough embrace. “It wasn’t your fault. It never was. Stop blaming yourself for things out of your control.”

The blunt words cut through the grief. It was one thing to hear an Alliance psychiatrist tell him that; it was another thing to hear his father say it. Patrick said what he meant, and meant what he said.

He took a breath and nodded. “I’m–I miss you. You and Mom. How is she?”

“You know her…she can’t stay idle. She took a group off to the combat simulator, green rookies who messed up the first time. The practice will do them good…in case there’s a next time.”

“‘Next time’?”

“Long story.” Patrick’s eyes shifted towards Kaidan. “Your friend here’s kept me updated on what you’ve been up to. Beat Saren, kicked Sovereign’s ass to hell and back. And a damned Spectre? _Seriously_?”

Shepard chuckled at the incredulous wonder in his father’s tone. “Yeah, a long way from Mindoir.”

“No kidding. You’ve done some amazing things, son, and I’m damn proud of you. But you aren’t done yet.”

Shepard’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Kaidan spoke up, his tone both sad and apologetic. “You have to go back, Shepard. There’s still a lot you have to do before you can stay here.”

He wasn’t sure how to react to that. On the one hand, he felt relieved. Although this place was welcoming, it felt _wrong_ to him at that moment. On the other hand, a sense of exhaustion settled over his shoulders.

Deal with the Alliance? With the Council? AGAIN?  

“Not _this_ again,” he groaned.

Kaidan laughed and Patrick rolled his eyes in another familiar gesture. “Sorry,” Kaidan said, “I know how you feel about politicians.”

“They’re the weeds of the galaxy.”

“I oughta print that up and hang it behind the bar,” Patrick teased. The humor disappeared as fast as it came. “It won’t be easy, son. There will be tough times ahead of you, but you need to stay focused. They need you out there.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You. It has to be you. No one else can do it. And if you don’t–” Patrick didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to.

Shepard sighed. “I hear you.”

“Don’t worry, you’ve got a guardian angel over your shoulder. Several, in fact.” Kaidan smiled and shook his head. “With all the trouble you get in, you keep all of us busy.”

“Kaidan Alenko, guardian angel?”

“Gotta keep you safe. Your mother would kill me if anything happened to you. Metaphorically speaking.”

He swallowed hard at the serious tone. Just like Kaidan, a protector even after he was physically gone. Come to think of it, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

_Kaidan would’ve been one hell of a Spectre._

He laughed and said, “I’ll try not to make your job complicated.”

Kaidan made a face as he replied, “Yeah. I know.”

The lights brightened into an intense glare. Shepard frowned and shaded his eyes. The music faded away, and he found himself standing at the bottom of the ramp. A jolt of fear shot up his spine, pure panic…

**“There, on the monitor, something’s wrong.”**

**“He’s reacting to outside stimuli. Showing an awareness of his surroundings. Oh my God, Miranda, I think he’s waking up.”**

Hazy vision, a dark-haired woman, a man with blue eyes…His lungs hurt, his bones hurt, everything hurt. Why couldn’t he breathe?

**“Damn it, Wilson! He’s not ready yet! Give him the sedative!”**

He reached for her, an anchor in a cloud of agony. She gently took his hand, laid it back at his side. **“Shepard, don’t try to move. Just lie still, try to stay calm.”**

Where was he? Who were these people? Where was his crew? Was everyone all right? What was happening? He had to get up, had to find out what was going on, he couldn’t just lie still…

**“Heart rate still climbing. Brain activity is off the charts. Stats pushing into the red zone! It’s not working!”**

**“Another dose, now!”**

Suddenly, the pain died away, and fatigue seeped back into his body. He struggled to hang on to consciousness..

**“Heart rate dropping, stats falling back into normal range. That was too close. We almost lost him.”**

**“I told you your estimates were off. Run the numbers again.”**

His knees buckled under him and he nearly fell off the ramp. Reflexes saved him as his arm shot up and snagged the railing. His mind was a jumble of images, the dark-haired woman with the soft accent…what the hell happened?

Then he felt a gentle hand on his elbow. Shepard glanced up to see Kaidan supporting him on one side, and his father on the other side.

Patrick shook his head. “Overachiever. You gotta take it easy, Remy.”

“Yeah…I figured that.” His breath came out in gasps. Was coming back supposed to hurt like this?

“You’re already making my job a challenge, Shepard.” Kaidan smiled to take the sting out of his voice. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, though.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He took a deep breath and managed to get to his feet. Then he glanced at his guardian angels and nodded. “Let’s do this.”

*****

Pain, nausea, aches and chills. The clanging alarms kept him from sinking back into oblivion. A shockwave shook his bed and jolted him awake.

**“Wake up, Commander. Shepard, do you hear me? Get out of that bed now–this facility is under attack.”**

He recognized the voice, that mysterious woman in his dreams. It took him an effort to get moving; his mind was still crowded with cobwebs. Shepard tried to remember what had happened to him, but it was all a blank.

_Get going, Shepard. Now._ Kaidan’s voice. Shepard managed to open his eyes. Pain shot through his side as he struggled up and he winced at it.

The room trembled again, harder this time. He staggered out of the bed and followed the woman’s hurried commands.

He’d find out what happened later. Right now, he was in trouble.


End file.
